The Washington Redskins could, mathematically, still make the playoffs in 2019. Yes, this sucky team that fired its coach after five winless games – or not games necessarily but more like smoldering wastelands of football ineptitude masquerading as football games – could win the NFC East.

Let’s take a look at how it would work.

They must win-out obviously, and with Aaron Rodgers and Green Bay on the horizon, the 8 ball says WINNING NOT BLOODY LIKELY, YOU FOOL ASS MOFO, or something to that effect.

The Douchebag Cowboys, with their Beta male Jason Garrett having been effectively reduced to eunuch status by Jerry Jones, need to lose all the remaining games on their schedule. That would have seemed preposterous at the start of the season, but Dallas is inexplicably in full suck-bag mode. They obviously don’t want Garret going forward and losing every game in limp fashion would be a great way to express that sentiment.

The Eagles can only win one more time. Again, this seemingly was a laughing-stock sentiment not so long ago, but the Eagles just lost to the Dolphins. So from Philly’s perspective, one win is where their heads should be at right now, not the playoffs.